


I Need You

by wooperskai



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 23:06:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14603718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wooperskai/pseuds/wooperskai
Summary: Mina and the rest of Twice failed to notice a dark seed of insecurity that was growing inside Momo and threatening to swallow her whole.





	I Need You

**Author's Note:**

> I always get sad whenever I see someone talk about Momo's confidence because she's been traumatized so much which served as inspiration for this fic. Enjoy.

線と線を結ぶ二人

Two people connecting a line with one another

やがてみんな海に辿り着き 

Everyone will reach the ocean soon

ひとつになるから 

and become one

 

―  _Deep River_ , Utada Hikaru

 

* * *

 

Mina can remember the day Momo was eliminated from Sixteen with such painful clarity.

 

The moment Momo’s name was called out, Mina felt her heart being stabbed as the tears instantly began to pour out. She remembered her heart aching, her heart shattering the harder Momo cried at the realization that she was eliminated. No one could believe it, not even JYP himself. Only the audience who ultimately controlled each and every one of their fates.

Mina could do nothing but watch Momo in tears as the rest of the contestants cried with her. She remembered silently crying harder when Sana tried to reach out to Momo, trying to pull her into a hug but Momo continued to pull away and walked off-stage alone, her sobs gradually fading from the stage. It was in that moment Mina could feel just how devastated Momo was and how frustratingly helpless she felt to comfort Momo because there wasn’t anything she could say to stop those tears from staining her beloved Momo’s face. The three of them continuously talked about how they would debut together, Sana proclaiming with such confidence that they would pull through no matter the odds, that Mina truly believed their dream would come to fruition. What words could Mina say to Momo, who worked the hardest out of everyone, who encouraged and watched over her team, who supported her and Sana always, and was still eliminated despite everything? She wanted to comfort Momo so badly once the filming was over but only tears would spill out from her, once again feeling utterly helpless while others like Sana and Jeongyeon comforted Momo.

When Mina found Momo leaving the practice room after she changed out of her stage clothes, she rushed into Momo’s arms and started to cry again as the only thing she could say was “Momo unnie” over and over, praying that Momo would understand the feelings she was trying to convey.

Mina remembered how Momo pulled away with the saddest smile she had ever seen on the older girl and gently patted her head and stroked her hair.

“You and Sana… You and Sana need to make it to the end. Make the dream a reality,” Momo had said while pulling her into a tight embrace. “I’ll be cheering for the both of you.” Momo smiled weakly and Mina felt her heart break into a million pieces at Momo’s next words. “You’ll be fine without me.’

 _It won’t be the same without you!_ was what Mina wanted to say but the words were stuck in her throat as she sobbed uncontrollably into Momo’s shoulder.

_I need you…_

 

 

Mina remembered when Momo asked her to be her partner for "Hit the Stage”.

 

“Are you sure you want me as your partner?” Mina asked in surprise. “Maybe you should ask for someone who is more experienced, like one of our choreographers or GOT7 sunbaes―”

“It has to be you, Mina,” Momo interrupted, taking one of Mina’s hands and grasping it tightly in both her hands. “I need you there with me.”

Mina opened her mouth to protest but once she noticed the way Momo’s hands were trembling, she immediately understood. These elimination shows have scarred Momo, and the first round where she received last place despite her breathtaking performance only validated her fears and traumas. Mina could only imagine what the results did to Momo’s already damaged confidence because she was certain the blonde was having flashbacks to Sixteen. She found Momo to be strong and brave for returning to the stage despite openly admitting to her trauma yet at the same time it worried Mina. Momo normally faced these challenges alone but not this time. Momo needed her and there was absolutely no way Mina was going to decline if she could help Momo regain some of her former confidence back, even if just a little. She could never find the right words to say to Momo, but at least she can be there for her and support her and allow her actions to speak for her instead.

Her experience performing with Momo on “Hit the Stage” turned out to be one of the most memorable and treasured memories she shared with the older girl, even if they didn’t win. Seeing Momo smile and laugh while they rehearsed the choreography together was more than enough.

 

 

For awhile, everything was okay. Better than okay.

Momo was never placed into another reality-elimination shows and spent her time focusing on Twice.

They had many successful comebacks that yielded them countless awards, triple crowns, and record-breaking achievements that continued to boost Twice’s popularity. They even debuted in Japan and held hi-touch events that brought many fans from across the country (and from other countries in general) and concerts that were instantly sold out in minutes. All their MVs had millions of views thanks to their devoted fanbase who would stream the MV and whatever song they were promoting on the various music sites to help them win on shows in the first place.

To this day, Mina still can’t believe how far they’ve all come together, but not a day goes by where she isn’t grateful, especially to JYP, for bringing back Momo. She remembered how she embraced Sana as they cried together out of happiness to find out that the three of them were going to achieve their long-time dream and wish to debut together. She remembered hugging Momo as Momo sobbed loudly because she was too overcome with emotion to speak. It was an indescribable happiness that soared within her because if anyone deserved it, it was Momo. And since then, she’s watched how hard Momo would work in Twice to show that JYP’s decision was not in vain, never failing to show how thankful she is for receiving such an opportunity, both with her mannerisms and her words.

 

Almost three years later, Mina and the rest of Twice failed to notice a dark seed of insecurity that was growing inside Momo and threatening to swallow her whole.

 

They recently came back with a new mini-album with their title track “What Is Love?” and much like their other title songs, it topped the charts instantly thanks to Onces for their endless support. Compared to their previous comebacks, they had a lot more TV appearances and radio show schedules that there was hardly any time for them to rest in between filming for such appearances and for music shows. However, they managed to have a few days to relax and unwind as their promotions gradually came to a close.

Mina returned to the dorm after shopping for knitting supplies and found Nayeon crying in Jeongyeon’s arms on the couch, with Jihyo looking concerned, arms folded across her chest. “What’s going on? Why is Nayeon unnie crying?” Mina asked worriedly as she placed her belongings on the side then sat on the other side of Nayeon to rub small circles on her back.

“Momo made her cry,” was Jeongyeon’s hardened response although she didn’t look angry.

“Momo unnie?” Mina couldn’t hide her disbelief, eyes flickering from Jeongyeon then to Nayeon who could only nod as she continued gasping for air between sobs.

“She said some hurtful words to Nayeon unnie before storming out of the dorm because she confronted Momo unnie about why she wasn’t eating properly. It was a harmless question but Momo unnie snapped back so angrily which made Nayeon unnie angry because she was only trying to help. Eventually it ended up like this,” Jihyo sighed, running her hand through her brunette locks in frustration.

Mina grew more confused at Jihyo’s words and stood up. “Momo unnie hasn’t been eating?”

“You haven’t noticed? That girl has been working herself way too hard lately and isn’t eating nor sleeping enough to balance all that energy she’s exerting when practicing her dancing,” Jeongyeon added, brows knitted together with worry. “It’s not helping that we have a lot more schedules to attend to this time around and at the rate Momo is going, she might actually pass out on stage from exhaustion, even worse if it’s broadcast live. That’s why Nayeon unnie stepped in confront but Momo wasn’t listening. I don’t know why she’s being so stubborn…”

Mina was speechless at everything she was hearing. Momo not eating enough? Momo not sleeping enough? Momo saying hurting things to her members and getting angry? It really didn’t sound like Momo at all. Hirai Momo was known for being the shikshin of the group, an eternal lover of food. What was going on?

Jihyo snapped Mina from her thoughts when she placed a hand on her shoulder. “Momo unnie has been going to one of the practice rooms at the studio so she’s probably there now. Do you think you can talk to her Mina? She’s always had a soft spot for you.”

“I-I don’t know…” Mina hesitated, staring down at her feet. “I wouldn’t know what to say. What about Sana unnie? She will know what to say to talk some sense into Momo unnie.”

“She might get angry at Sana unnie too. But if it’s you… maybe she won’t be so harsh.” Jihyo gave Mina a pleading look. “Please, Mina. Please try and talk some sense into her before she hurts herself.”

Mina gazed into Jihyo’s eyes and bit down on her lip. She wasn’t sure what she could possibly do to get through Momo if Nayeon couldn’t do it, but she knew she couldn’t wait till Momo completely self-destructs and puts herself at risk. So even if she didn’t know what to say or even how to approach Momo, Mina steadily met Jihyo's eyes and nodded firmly, silently hoping she will find the right words to reach Momo.

 

 

Mina found Momo locked behind one of the practice rooms that was secluded away from the rest inside the company building. She peered in from outside through the small square window on the door as Momo danced to a remix of a song Mina couldn’t remember the title of, but that was the least of Mina’s concern the more she silently watched Momo. The older girl didn’t notice her presence, too engrossed in watching her reflection as she moved and swayed to the beat. The difference to the other times Mina has watched Momo dance was her expression. Momo wasn’t smiling. Momo wasn’t wearing a charismatic smirk when she was performing a powerful choreography. No, Momo looked angry. Upset? Mina could tell Momo’s movements were too forced, almost sloppy in comparison to the usual precision and fluidity she’d somehow combine whenever she moved to the music, and Mina could see that Momo was also aware of this. She watched Momo growl in frustration and picked up a half-empty water bottle, throwing it against the wall with such force, Mina was sure the bottle would explode from the impact yet it did not. It was scary to watch the other girl and although Mina’s fist was raised, ready to knock on the glass to notify Momo of her presence, she was frozen in place and could not move. If it wasn’t for the fact Momo turned around and saw her through the window, Mina wasn’t sure if she had the courage to knock to get her attention.

But there was no turning back as Momo made her way to the door, visibly displeased to see her, but unlocked the room anyway while staring Mina down. “Jihyo sent you here, didn’t she?”

Mina felt the words get caught in her throat at the unwelcoming tone in Momo's voice but she swallowed thickly and miraculously managed to speak. “Yes, and for good reason… She and Jeongyeon unnie told me what happened.”

“If you’re here to chastise me, go home, Mina." Mina had to step in and push back the door to prevent Momo from shutting her out, which only earned her a glare from Momo.

Mina knew if she backed down now, there wouldn't be a second chance. "No. Please... Let's talk."

"Get out, Mina."

"You're going to have to make me."

Mina took a step closer until she was right in front of Momo's face. The older girl was less than a centimeter taller than her, but she still has to tilt her gaze upwards to meet Momo's eyes. Normally, the dancer's eyes were full of kindness and tenderness that drew Mina to Momo in the first place back when they were trainees. But looking into Momo's eyes now, there was none of that. All she saw was Momo's staring coldly back, those brown eyes void of any warmth or compassion. For a moment, Mina was certain Momo was going to shove her out of the practice room and lock her out. She could see Momo's hand balled into a fist from her peripheral vision but Mina refused to relent and persisted in staring Momo down, pleading with her eyes to not be pushed away.

it seemed to have work because Momo simply snorted and turned her back to her and walked off to grab the water bottle she had threw earlier, giving Mina the opportunity to close the door behind them so they could talk before following after the other girl. Momo refused to look at her as she chugged the rest of her water when she approached once more. Mina guessed this was Momo's way of waiting for her to speak since it was obvious Momo wasn't going to start off the conversation. Mina stood there awkwardly and rubbed her forearm with her free hand, contemplating how she should begin. The former ballerina scolded herself for not being more prepared. When she took a closer look at the dancer's figure, that's when Mina noticed how thin Momo was despite the latter wearing loose clothing and the dark bags that were prominent on her bare face. Momo did not look like this when they were doing the photoshoot for the mini-album; she looked much healthier with glowing skin and a beaming smile that could melt any heart. How could one's appearance deteriorate so fast within weeks? It made Mina want to cry and she could feel the tears beginning to well in the back of her throat but she swallowed them back.

"Momo unnie..." Mina's voice cracked as she spoke the other's name in her usual quiet voice. She noticed Momo stiffen and Mina suddenly felt hopeful for eliciting some sort of response.  _She's always had a soft spot for you_  was what Jihyo said. Mina had no choice but to use that fact to her advantage and spoke again with more confidence. "Momo unnie. Look at me. Please."

She could see Momo struggling within herself, the lack of warmth in her eyes now replaced with conflict at what to do. Thankfully after moments of silence that seemed to last for hours, Momo finally turned to her again, defeated and weary, a look that told her she was so close to breaking, and all Mina wanted to do was embrace her to keep Momo from falling apart. But Mina held back the urge because that wasn't going to be the answer to solve the issue at hand and because she knew it wasn't going to be that easy, then took a deep breath, speaking softly. "Why haven't you been eating and resting properly? Why are you pushing yourself like this?"

"Don't pretend that you've known about this. I can tell you just found out from hearing about it from the others," Momo retorted sharply.

Guilt gnawed at Mina's insides. "I'm not... and I hate myself for not noticing," Mina answered honestly, placing a hand over her heart. "That's why I'm trying to make up for it and talking to you myself. Because I love you and care about you so much, and seeing up close at what you're doing to yourself... It hurts. It  _really_  hurts. I want to help you but I can't do anything if you don't tell me what's wrong... if you don't let me in."

Momo swallowed thickly, brow furrowed deeply, then relaxed as her shoulders sagged, a quiet exhale through the nose before meeting Mina's soft gaze. "I've been feeling like dead weight. Useless. I feel like I haven't contributed to the group in a long time. Not working hard enough like the rest of you."

Mina instantly recalled the time during Likey promotions when Momo mentioned she didn't want to be the "black hole" in the group. "That's not true at all! Ever since we were trainees, you've worked the hardest out of all of us, and you still do! Have you forgotten the dance break you choreographed? You did that all on your own."

"And that's all I've done! That's all I'll ever be! Just a dancer!" Momo cried out in frustration, fighting to keep her tears at bay, hands balled tightly into fists as she faced Mina with a quivering lip. "Unlike the rest of you, I was the only one to be eliminated and I've started to see why. All I'm good for is dancing... My singing is sub-par and my rapping is no match for Dahyun's or Chaeyoung's. I'm the weakest vocalist, I know that, and there's no way my rapping will ever be as good either... I might as well be just a back-up dancer. That's all I'm good for."

"Momo unnie... Stop," Mina pleaded, on the verge of tears herself. She could hear the pain and suffering in Momo's voice, as sharp as a knife, cutting away at her self-confidence that was already wearing thin, and Mina hated it because Momo was in so much pain and she didn't know what to do to stop it.

Momo laughed bitterly, a crooked, twisted smile plastered on her face. "Why? It's true, right? I've seen a number of comments that agree with my thoughts... I really am a black hole. Just a means to fill in empty space so our formation looks better." Slowly, Momo's expression turned blank, void of any emotion as she stared up at the fluorescent lighting above them as a single tear slid down her cheek. "Maybe... Maybe it'd be better if I―"

"Don't you dare say it..!" Mina was crying at this point. The tears wouldn't stop. She knew what Momo's next words were

"―if I left Twice. Putting me in Twice was a mistake," Momo finished quietly.

Momo looked utterly defeated, voice full of hopelessness, that Mina knew the other girl was serious: dead serious. Mina cried harder as a result, eyes red and puffy from her salty tears that stained her pale cheeks.

For a majority of her life, Mina was never good at dealing with people, especially when there was a problem or some form of conflict. She never could find the right words to say in that moment in time and could only stand there quietly, awkwardly, and helplessly. She would let someone else talk for her or she'd move off to the side while the problem would eventually resolve itself. But for the first time in her life, Mina was desperately trying to find the right words inside of her to stop Momo, to help Momo, to save Momo from herself and the insecurities that bind her to the negativity. She  _had_  to. There was no other way.

 

Mina stepped forward.

 

_( "How did you feel when Momo was eliminated?"_

_Mina sobbed, unable to look at the camera, her vision blurred by her own tears._

_"Momo unnie... She worked the hardest out of all of us. I feel like I can't accept this situation...")_

 

Momo stared wide-eyed at Mina who was crying silently and stood face to face from her, mere millimeters away.

 

_(Momo embraced Mina tightly as she cried into her shoulder. "Make the dream a reality. I'll be cheering for the both of you.")_

 

Mina raised her hand.

 

_("You'll be fine without me.")_

 

And slapped Momo across the face.

 

Momo touched her cheek and felt her skin was hot from the impact, completely stunned at the fact Myoui Mina just  _slapped_  her.

 

"STOP BEING SELFISH AND THINKING ONLY ABOUT YOURSELF," Mina shouted angrily through her tears, hands shooting up and tightly grasping the collar of Momo's tank top as Mina pulled Momo closer. "You think that decision only affects you? Did you ever stop and think what would the other members would think and feel? How our fans would feel?" She released a shaky breath and let go of Momo's top, head hung low as more tears fell to the wooden floor of the practice room. Mina then lifted her head to gaze into Momo's eyes. "Did you ever think about how I would feel?"

Momo's jaw hung open, speechless, though it was clear through her eyes that she was struggling to find words.

"I couldn't say it before when you were eliminated, back in the practice room where I honestly believed it was the last time we'd be together," Mina started again, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands in vain as more tears continued to spill out, gaze still locked onto Momo's. "But I need you, Momo. When you were trainees, you never stopped believing in me and always encouraged. If you were never in Twice, I would have never gotten over the stupid mistake I did during the Idol Star Athletic Championships because I felt like I let everyone down. But you kept telling me it was okay and that you were so proud of me. You were the first one to be at my side when I was sent that stupid death threat for my scandal with Bambam... I could go on and on for all the times you've helped me overcome obstacles and it's just me. If the other members were hear, I know they'd say the same things as I did. You're so important to the group. You're not just a dancer... You're a real member of Twice and you deserve it. You deserve it so much... It was our dream for us to debut together: you, me, and Sana unnie. The thought of you not being in Twice anymore... it really hurts thinking about it." Mina sobbed harder and buried her face into her hands, gasping between her words."I wish you could see how important you are... because you really are important, Momo..."

Mina suddenly felt Momo's arms encircling her and soon enough, she was buried into Momo's shoulder, just like back then. Momo held her delicately as she combed her fingers through Mina's hair, speaking quietly. "I'm sorry, Mitang. I'm so sorry..." Mina couldn't help but cry harder when she could feel the affection return to Momo's voice when she called her by her nickname and looped her arms around Momo's waist.

"Please, don't go, Momoring... Please," Mina begged softly.

She wasn't sure but she thought she felt Momo kiss the top of her head before giving her frame a gentle squeeze.

"I won't. I promise."

 

 

A week later, Twice just finished performing and recording their goodbye stage for "What Is Love?". In the seat in front of Mina, Nayeon and Jihyo were chatting lively and loudly amongst themselves while beside her, Momo and Sana were bickering over snacks that Sana supposedly stole from Momo, which made the dancer whine. The rest of the members were in a separate van, most likely thankful they were separated from the chaos that was happening inside this van. After a lot of yelling and screeching, it seemed like Sana won, which made Momo whine louder as a result, propping her chin on Mina's shoulder, her lower lip protruding in a pout.

"Mitaaaang. Sattang isn't giving me her sweet roll," Momo grumbled cutely.

"Didn't you already have three rolls though?" Mina sighed. She already knew what the following question would be so she gave Momo her sweet roll and Momo cheered happily, sticking out her tongue at Sana.

"You're the best, Mitang!" Momo grinned and began opening the pastry before taking a large bite.

Mina couldn't help but chuckle as she watched Momo devour the bread in seconds, adding softly that only Momo could hear. "I'm really glad you got your appetite back... You look a lot better."

Momo licked her lips and nodded slowly, giving Mina a small smile. "Yeah... thanks to you."

Mina could feel her heart swell with happiness and subtly slid her hand into Momo's, head tilted to the side as she look at the older girl. "Are you still thinking about leaving Twice?"

 

The response she received was a gentle squeeze to the hand and a smile that mirrored her own as she met Momo's brown eyes that were filled with warmth and tenderness.

 

"No. Never again."

**Author's Note:**

> The lyrics written at the beginning of the fic made me think of MiMo, and how the legend of the "Red String of Fate" was the line that connected them together and brought Momo back to the ocean that is Twice.
> 
> Or I'm just a delusional MiMo shipper ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Both work.


End file.
